This is another classic. Not an online dating tale, just a tale of an old boyfriend who came around again after a decade. Also not recent, this happened about 7 yrs ago. But god, I remember it like it was yesterday.
One day my mom gets a call from an old boyfriend of mine who said he was in town, “staying with a friend” and wanted to get in touch with me to see if I wanted to catch up. I dated this guy when I was 16 & 17. Needless to say, I was surprised. Last time we spoke was a decade ago and he had moved to Florida. My mom tells me about this message on a Sunday. I had a busy week with this freelance job I was working on and couldn’t call right away. Mom calls Wednesday looking for details… you can imagine her thoughts – a man has called for you, you are 33, single and going nowhere fast – you must return his call immediately! I promise her I will call the next night.
So I dial this number the following evening and some recording to a church picks up. I hang up. I must have dialed it wrong. I call again and someone answers so I explain that I think I have the wrong number, where I got it from, etc. Her response is, “Is he part of the shelter?” At this point my jaw drops and I get a blank stare. I start mumbling… “I don’t… know…” I give her his name. It turns out he is staying at the shelter but is in the shower at the time – I am told to call back. I already decided regardless of what he tells me, there is no reason for him to have my home phone number. In the meantime I look the phone number I have up on the web. He’s at a church less than 1/2 a mile from me. Crap.
I call back, get the machine and hang up. 30 seconds later the phone rings and guess who? Who would of thought the church had caller i.d.? Or would star 69 me! We talk briefly he basically says he’s glad I called, etc., he has no one, his parents are dead (they were alcoholics and truly mean), his brother is dead and his sister hates him. He was in FL for years with a girl who was from Spain, went to Spain with her for 2 years, she didn’t want to leave, he did – end of story. So he is back, no job, no car, no money, no where to live (except the homeless shelter) but he has a friend whose father is a pastor at this church, hence his new address. I’m not sure I am buying it and mostly I am in shock during this 15 minute conversation ;) Although I shouldn’t, I agree to have drinks with him the following evening. Truth be told, it’s actually my idea because I really had no idea what to say to any of his info. I was just thinking about alcohol! He tells me he will call at 8… after this I make arrangements with friends to go to the same bar and make sure he doesn’t drag me away and kill me. I felt really uncomfortable the rest of the evening and I almost backed out the next morning, but I didn’t. I truly was trying not to misjudge but who can blame me?
He calls early that Friday and proceeds to tell me how he misplaced my number and called my mom – during that conversation she inadvertently told him what street I lived on!!!! And she is the most paranoid person around – see how desperate she is to marry me off! So, we went out, had drinks – a nice time actually. I picked him up of course (no car, no money, etc.) It was sweet because he was so nervous… still looked good (but I’m not that desperate). My friends called right when I was in the bathroom and I told them that all was a-ok and not to come if they didn’t want to. He and I were catching up and I was totally comfortable. He was always sweet and good natured – no worries. I leave the restroom and return to the table and we continue chatting. He has this tattoo I’ve been pondering about on his fingers. It’s spells something but no word I know, nor is it one I can remember. So I ask him what it means and he’s like – well, that’s a long story… which the short of it is – he spent a year in jail right after he moved away for helping some guy sell GUNS. I can’t remember why he got the tattoo or what it meant. I only remember him saying he got in jail where he was doing time for helping someone sell firearms. Of all things. Granted rape or murder would of been worse but I am anti gun. Can you believe that? My response was, “Another round please.” It was nice he was honest but duh, too much info for me. So although I had a good time, that was that. I still think he is a nice guy who has made some REALLY poor decisions in life and I hope he can get his shit together but he couldn’t get it together enough for me. Sorry. Sayonara.
After two weeks he called and left a message, checking in, saying he got a job – a really good job making really good money (his words – which I’m sure is true because when you go from $0 to anything, it’s really good) and wanted to know if I wanted to go to a movie or something. He also stated that he may be getting an apartment right on my street but as he explains it, it sounds like it’s 5-6 blocks from me. Didn’t need to return that call. I felt bad but not that bad. A few more weeks go by, another message, saying much of the same with his new address, which is not 5-6 blocks away, it’s a block and a half. He knows my car, he lives a block and a half away. I’m not afraid but I don’t want to deal with this situation. He didn’t call again after that….. but he did eventually reach out to me again. That will be my next post, “Letters From An Inmate.”